The Top 6 Christmas Movies You Must Watch This Holiday Season!

Throwing on your festive holiday pajamas, sipping some hot chocolate (while probably burning your tongue because you’re impatient), and sitting by the fireplace with friends and family to enjoy a classic Christmas movie.

This is what the holiday season is all about!

I grew a little worried that maybe people were pacing back and forth in their homes, waiting for some handsome man to make a top 6 list of the best Christmas movies, so here I am.

You might be asking yourself, “Wait just a second Michael! What exactly makes certain Christmas movies better than others? And who are you to tell me my favorites aren’t the best? It’s a matter of preference!”

Well the answer is simple.

In the words of the all time cinematic hero of our time, Jack Dawson: “Trust me”

(I really just wanted to quote Jack Dawson. There’s at least a 50% chance that he never says “trust me” in Titanic. And YES…it’s from Titanic! Ugh is this amateur hour?! This is exactly why you need my top 5 top 6 list!!

What are the absolute musts that define an all time Christmas classic?

  • Lasting power. I need to be able to watch this film every Christmas.
  • Quality. It needs to be a great movie in its own right.
  • Magic. The Christmas feels better be jumping out of the screen and punching you in the face!
  • Music. It needs to have some original, classic Christmas music that you might even be willing to listen to outside of the movie experience.

Without further ado, lets begin!

6. Home Alone

Do you want to know why this is a “top 6” list, instead of a “top 5” or even a “top 10”?

It’s because I refused to exclude Home Alone and I simply couldn’t kick The Muppet Christmas Carol off the list. Problem is, there simply aren’t enough deserving Christmas films to make a top 10 (there’s about 7 or 8).

But not 10! There’s a drop off after 8.

At first, I was hesitant to include Home Alone, because I just didn’t think it was exclusively a “Christmas” movie. I always considered it a fabulous, family film in its own right. In my mind, the reason why everyone else in the world was distracted into claiming this to be the “greatest Christmas film of them all” was because of the brilliance of the great John Williams (composer).

Ive seen this film a million times, but it wasn’t until I watched it THIS week, that I realized I was wrong.

A friend pointed out to me how nearly all of the set design was made up of green and red colors. Watch it and take note, people. I can’t believe that for all these years, I completely missed that. Foolish.

A true commitment to the Christmas feel. Huge points for Home Alone.

And then there’s the music.

I consider John Williams Home Alone score to be the greatest Christmas music of all time. It’s beyond magical.

For this very reason, I thought that viewers were being hypnotized into a magical Christmas feeling, without even realizing that the plot itself really doesn’t have much to do with Christmas. I understand that the entire premise of the film centers around Macauley Culkin being left alone during Christmas time…but big deal. Plenty of films take place during this time of year.

However, after being made aware of this decision to go all in on the Christmas aesthetic, coupled with the already existing magical music, and the whole family being together during the holidays, my stance has finally been swayed to the other side of the fence (Home Alone was obviously already very close to winning me over, and it just needed one last push).

And just like that, this is a top 6 list.

5. The Muppet Christmas Carol

The Muppets are incredible. That much, we can all agree on. Adding them to anything instantly makes that program infinitely better.

Example: “A Very Muppet Silence of the Lambs

You can’t tell me all that hilarious Muppet banter wouldn’t make the whole Hannibal Lecter situation a little less stressful.

Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol is a classic story we’re all familiar with. You have Ebenezer Scrooge (wonderfully played by Michael Cain) dealing with some serious shit. Ghosts. Anger. Loneliness. Depression. Greed–and The Muppets.

Wonderful songs. Magical Christmas feelings. Great story + The Muppets make this movie a Christmas classic.

4. It’s a Wonderful Life

Oh, what’s that? You forgot about It’s a Wonderful Life?

Shame…

This film is an all time classic. Forget about the whole “Christmas feel” (that yes, this film very much has). Even without that, it’s still one of the better movies I’ve ever seen.

It’s about a man named George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) who considers taking his own life on Christmas Eve, by jumping off a bridge. Suddenly, he sees a man drowning in the waters beneath him, whom he then scrambles to rescue. Bailey soon finds out that the man he saved claims to be an angel.

The angel walks him through town showing him what the world would be like if he didn’t exist.

Now don’t tell me this film doesn’t sound meaty! You can just feel the meat! You can feel the juice on your fingertips!

(People say that)

I’m not going to tell you what else happens because I know you’re already sold (Also, if we can just be honest for a minute…I don’t really remember what else happens). But if you’re not sold based on what you’ve already heard, then I’m sure it’s probably because your soul has already been sold to the devil.

(Too much)

(Not necessary)

(Way too much, and weird)

Anyways, go see the movie if you haven’t already. It’s a Christmas classic.

3. The Santa Clause

For me personally, The Santa Clause might contain the most Christmas magic of any film. I’m sure my connection to this movie greatly has to do with the age in which I was when the film was released, but there’s no denying the magic that drives the experience:

Tim Allen in his hilarious 90’s prime.

Best film ever made about Santa Clause (who’s by far the most important part of Christmas, NBD)

(Just kidding, JC)

That little cute kid who refuses to NOT believe in Santa.

The magical North Pole.

The music that was so unbelievable, that it leaves you in no denial to the existence of the big guy in red.

And of course, the classic nerdy step-dad who’s trying to be the mature father he thinks the kid needs… yet he’ll never be as cool as Tim Allen.

2. Elf

Any movie that features Will Ferrell’s A+ game is instantly going to be a classic. Combine that with an all-around, feel-good Christmas movie, and you have what easily could be the greatest Christmas film ever (if our #1 didn’t exist).

Elf is certainly one of Jon Favreau’s (the director) best films. It’s got all the feels, and most importantly, it has the brilliance of Will Ferrell’s “Buddy the Elf” innocence contrasted by the bitterness of his father, played by James Caan. Caan plays the definition of a harsh and cold-blooded New Yorker, and obviously “Buddy the Elf” couldn’t be any further from that.

Elf even has some great and original Christmas music, which if you haven’t learned by now, is an absolute Michael must!

(The requirements are written in stone!)

Unfortunately, the film doesn’t close well, and it’s a glaring misstep. It’s a perfect movie for so long, and then suddenly takes on a completely different feel in the third act. It also felt like it forgot that it was still a comedy.

If they could’ve successfully sealed the deal, then Elf probably would have been #1.

1. A Christmas Story

If this isn’t your #1, are you even a real person?

It’s the movie played over and over for 24 hours straight, from Christmas Eve into Christmas Day (on some network I forget).

The film perfectly encapsulates the struggles of an average, middle class family trying to not only make it through the holiday season, but enjoy it. The character development is out of this world, with every person seemingly carrying such an extensive story arch of their own.

And yes, I’m big on character development.

I might even consider naming my first born, “character development” if there wasn’t already a long and elite list of names ready to go. (Colonel BlackTooth, Mustache Madness, Angry Emily, and Borris the Anteater…just to name a few).

There’s someone for all of us to connect to in this film. You have Ralphie who just wants his Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. His little brother who hates his boring food he’s forced to eat. The stay at home mom who works her ass off trying to please both her children and her loud and outspoken husband at the same time. And of course, the husband, who is one of the great all time cinematic characters.

The leg lamp. The outspoken and dismissive father who truly loves his kids. The tongue sticking to a cold metal pole. The BB gun. Santa kicking Ralphie down the slide. The incredibly realistic family dynamic. The music. And of course, the Christmas magic.

It’s as good as it gets.

Fun facts (that yes, are fun):

  • Jack Nicolson was originally considered to play the role of the father
  • The actor who plays Ralphie was also in Elf (he’s a Christmas legend)

A Christmas Story personally reminds me of sitting around with my family when I was younger, with everyone laughing at various elements that we all connected with. Watching it at times feels like I’m watching a home video tape of my parents childhood, and I think part of the movie’s attractiveness is this ability to have a similar affect on most other people who watch it.

It is the ultimate, feel-good family Christmas movie that perfectly captures the magic of sitting around the decorated tree, creating life’s precious moments with special people.

Happy Holidays!


Do you have any questions or disagreements?

Let me know in the comments!

For guest blogging inquiries, feel free to reach me at michaelswanders@gmail.com

You might just be hooked on the whole “list thing”…so here’s another: The Top 5 Christopher Nolan Films

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Avengers: Endgame Teaser Trailer. It Makes You Cry. It Gives You Chills. And It Teases.

*Weeping

It’s finally here. Not only does Avengers 4 have a name, but the trailer has also been released.

Avengers: Endgame is on its way.

If it isn’t obvious…I’m a fan.

I’ve been waiting for this moment since we were given that close up shot of Nick Fury’s pager at the very end of last years film. Actually, I’ve really been waiting since we were first introduced to the MCU.

I even resorted to desperate tactics to summon this trailer.

1,241 likes no big deal. My first viral tweet. I need to go on the record here and say that it’s very hard to get a viral tweet. I would know. I try every day and fail miserably. So the fact that I got one is an outstanding accomplishment of the highest degree-congratulations to me.

Also, before I really get into the trailer, I would like to take a moment to tell you all how much I hate my nerd friends who don’t like super hero movies. It’s called having an imagination. It’s called escapism. It’s called fun!! Ever fucking heard of it?!?

Back to the trailer.

My initial reaction is that, while it’s unique, it’s actually overwhelmingly depressing!

And you know what? I dig it.

I love it. I love every bit of it. Think about it. This is an absolutely massive blockbuster film. Yet, in the trailer there were no CGI shots. There were no explosions, or your classic money shot. (Also, the teaser SHOULD be depressing given what just happened to the entire universe).

This type of trailer is simply unheard of with a movie of this magnitude. There is without a doubt, TONS for Marvel to show us. However, all they manage to reveal are a few low-key shots of the surviving heroes looking understandably depressed.

It gives it edge. It sets the mood. The Avengers: Endgame teaser trailer is exactly what it should be….a big tease.


Avengers: Endgame Teaser Trailer Analysis

Watch the full trailer by clicking on the link below:

Start here–most importantly, the music is absolutely sensational. Maybe you were expecting the Avengers theme? Lol forget it. Instead, we get a slow and beautiful song to start out the trailer, that actually reminds me of some of Steve Jablonsky’s best work. You guys have no idea who that is though, so I hate you.

Then, the music suddenly hits us with some big time bangs while still keeping that slow and sad foundation. This comes once the trailer reminds us why we are all so sad in the first place, as a defeated Tony Stark mindlessly drifts through space in the Guardians of the Galaxy ship, and is quickly running out of oxygen. *Weeping

That reminder comes in the form of Thanos’ armor, which is apparently set up as a scarecrow on his farm where he has seemingly retired. This fucking purple bitch wiped out half the universe and is now frolicking through a beautiful field of flowers. I hate him so much I absolutely love it. Respect all the way.

But man, that opening sequence of Tony in space is absolutely gorgeous. They give us a shot looking up at his ship to the backdrop of the colors of the cosmos (and aided by some spine tingling music) It’s sensational. It’s a “what now?” shot. *Weeping

Then they show us Thanos walking through his farm…but wait…that son of a bitch is limping. Don’t you DARE forget who did that to you, you fucking bloated bastard! Thor messed you up and he’s coming back (in fairness, it seems the snap itself also did some damage to the left side of his body, as the gauntlet looks like it’s melted to his skin). But I don’t care. In my mind he’s struggling to tend to his farm because My Thor….My King….My hero, threw Stormbreaker into his chest.

Also, Thanos is totally letting his guard down. He’s farming. He’s frolicking. He’s wearing a white hipster shirt. We all have that phase we went through where you just want to be one with the earth and grow your hair long, am I right? No? Just me and Thanos? (We’re both dreamers–it’s a curse).

Look, this weird Thanos phase is bad timing. The Avengers are coming to hand you an emotional beat down for the ages.

Doctor Strange no doubt saw in that one possible victorious outcome that if Thanos were to win, he would go full hippie and totally let his guard down. Classic mistake.

I can’t wait until he turns his purple ass around, complete with his Urban Outfitters satchel and Phish t-shirt, and sees the full Avengers crew standing there behind him.

So then the trailer shows us Black Widow talking with Captain America as they both have tears in their eyes. Emotional stuff. *Weeping

Then we see Bruce Banner looking at displayed images of the heroes we lost. *Weeping

“We lost. All of us. We lost friends. We lost family”. *Still weeping

Then we’re given a backbreaking shot of Thor sitting in a room all alone, probably blaming himself for not going for Thanos’ head. *Weeping

“The sun will shine on us again” -Loki said in Infinity War, just before he died in front of his brother, who refused to ever give up on him.

So in the Endgame trailer they give us a quick shot of the sun rising, as it then cuts to Thor, who has lost absolutely everything and everyone, including his brother Loki. *Ugly scream crying (jk. I’m a very good looking crier)

So here’s my problem. Why the fuck is Thor sitting alone?! I would be RIGHT next to him (ass to ass) hand feeding him warm soup and singing “Into the West” by Annie Lenox, gently into his ear.

It is heartbreaking how much he has lost. Thor, the man who never lost his optimism, is currently incapable of even smiling.

After briefly seeing Nebula (who lost her sister to Thanos) we are given a shot of a really cool looking dude with an awesome outfit and a sword. Okay! Something to be excited about! Oh…it’s just Hawkeye who has apparently completely snapped after most likely losing his entire family, and is now slaying people in the streets. More sadness. *Weeping

And then, we finally are handed some hope; Captain America-the man with a plan to save the universe, as he looks down at a picture of the love of his life, just before doing whatever last great heroic thing he’s going to do. *Yes, weeping

Yas Cap yas!!

Obviously the quantum realm/time travel play into this movie in some way, because of Ant-Man showing up in that final scene of the trailer with all the much needed optimism in the world. So yes, there is hope. We just currently don’t know much about it, or really where to find it, other than apparently in the form of Ant-Man it seems.

All in all, the trailer is a perfect tease. It didn’t give us the money shot of all the Avengers fighting together, or anything even closely resembling that. Instead, it was a window into what the world has been like since the snap, and the ominous power of Thanos. These people lost everything. Everyone in the universe is emotionally destroyed, which is an immensely interesting concept. This film will be a battle of complete desperation–a last minute hail mary from the heroes we’ve fallen in love with over the last ten years.

Avengers: Endgame will be one last fight to undo the mass genocide of trillions and save the universe.

At long last, it will be our heroes moment to finally fulfill their destiny as “Avengers”.

*Weeping

P.S. Here’s a link to my post on the Captain Marvel Trailer.

The Captain Marvel Trailer Just Debuted on ESPN’s Monday Night Football

For guest blogging inquiries, feel free to email me at michaelswanders@gmail.com

The Captain Marvel Trailer Just Debuted on ESPN’s Monday Night Football

The Captain Marvel trailer just made its big debut during halftime of the Monday Night Football game on ESPN.

Quick point: How is Mark Sanchez back in our lives?

Moving on…

This movie looks electric.

I’ve been as curious as anyone as to how Carol Danvers is going to ultimately fit into the final showdown against Thanos in the upcoming and highly anticipated Avengers 4. Finally getting to see her in action is at least a step in the right direction toward knowing SOMETHING. Honestly, I’m slightly hesitant to just embrace her as the “strongest hero” in the MCU (according to Marvel president, Kevin Feige).  I’ll come back to that idea though. First, lets just talk about the trailer and the prospects of this blockbuster film in its own right–Captain Marvel.

Apparently, its a film about Carol Danvers essentially getting caught in between the middle of a galactic war between two prominent alien races in the MCU; the Kree and the Skrulls. Okay, I still don’t really know much about how thats going to end up playing into the whole Thanos storyline, but it seems like the Black Order may in some way have a history with Danvers. Here’s what I DO know from watching the trailer:

Brie Larson actually looks incredible as Captain Marvel. I was originally worried about her casting, but have since found peace. Also, that final scene of her flying around was wild.

Jude Law is going to be sensational. His scenes steal the show for me in the trailer, as my eyes are always drawn to his presence in films. Speaking of eyes, his eyes in this film have me in a trance (in a good way).

I love me some Lee Pace. Ronin was one of my favorite characters and I’ve missed him greatly ever since he got distracted by Peter Quills wack dancing (first time I’ve ever said “wack”–Feels great, even if it’s 20 years too late).

We’re going to get to see the early stages of S.H.I.E.L.D. and essentially some more screen time for Agent Coulson. You miss him. I miss him. The Avengers miss him. If only he could see what they’ve become…man he’d be nerding out big time.

Samuel L. Jackson as a primary character in another Marvel movie is great news. He’s electric. And yeah, the special effects department did a great job turning back the clock on his looks.

The whole 90’s thing is incredible. From the second I saw that Blockbuster Video shot in the teaser, I was hooked. I miss Blockbuster so so much. I miss walking around the store not knowing what I was going to choose. I miss walking by the “new releases” section. I miss the fear of walking through the horror section. Remember when a big movie would be released and that one film would occupy like half the wall space? And then the hard copies were all empty! They were all taken–the movie was so hot!  Man that stuff gets you going…survival of the fittest. Now movie’s never run out on Netflix. Anyone can click and order it…you millennials are softer than a baby’s bottom (I think I might be a millennial, but I’m not sure). Point is, I might see this movie just to somehow attend Blockbuster Video one….last…time.

The Kree and Skrull thing looks pretty intense, but I honestly don’t know much about it, nor do I pretend to. I do know this…I can’t wait to see Xandar again. Thanos, you’re the worst.

So back to Captain Marvel being “as powerful a character as we’ve ever put in a movie”. Look, thats exciting and cool news. Like, we’re going to need it against that purple bastard….but my man Thor has EARNED that shit!

He earned his place among the stars! I’m not here to just let Carol stroll in, in the eleventh hour acting like she owns the place. Thor, the God of Thunder owns the place.

*Beautiful Thor soliloquy:

He worked his way to the top. He stood in front of the Destroyer as a mortal (yet still breathtakingly gorgeous) and was ready to sacrifice his life to let his friends live. Boom, he was deemed worthy again and got his powers back. He lost his mother to the Dark Elves. His father died shortly after his brother isolated him on Earth. His super villain sister returned from Hell and killed nearly everyone on Asgard and claimed the throne for herself while Thor was imprisoned on Sakaar. Somehow, escaped and returned knowing he was overmatched, lost his beautiful eye, and then was forced to destroy his home world in an effort to kill his evil sister and save whomever was left to save. He then watched as the remaining Asgardian refugees were slaughtered by Thanos and the Black Order JUST after escaping the destruction of Asgard. Heimdall, his best friend was killed right in front of him, followed by his brother Loki who he refused to ever give up on. Completely shattered to pieces in every way a man could emotionally be shattered, he refused to give up. Thor, having lost everything and everyone he cares about the most, then traveled to Nidavellir to develop a weapon capable of killing the most powerful being in the universe. While the machine was making his weapon, it broke. Without hesitation, Thor then held the machine open with his God-like strength while taking the FULL POWER OF A SUN shooting through his body. It worked. He got his weapon–Stormbreaker. He then turned the tide in the battle of Wakanda, single handedly wiping out the Outriders. Soon after, he accomplished the most impossible feat in human history by throwing his axe through the power of the entire infinity gauntlet, as Thanos shot the power of the collective universe his way. The axe landed in the middle of Thanos’ chest and would’ve won everything for the good guys, if Thanos didn’t have to just simply snap his fingers to do what he wanted. So! In conclusion. THOR HAS EARNED HIS STRIPES! Captain Marvel, you better do some damn spectacular shit to even come close to earning the respect that Thor has earned.

Okay, I forgot that this blog is not about Thor (but it should be).

Don’t get me wrong. I’m incredibly excited to welcome Captain Marvel to the crew. I hope she kills it, and I wish her the best….but don’t you DARE step on my man’s shoes.

In other words, I’m excited for Carol Danvers presence, but she kind of feels like the popular new kid at school. She walks in with full confidence, knowing that she’s better than us all (and she is), but I’m hesitant to just welcome her with open arms. Thor is still the coolest kid in my school until you prove your worth. If Thor admits you’re the one, then I’ll fall in line.

Ultimately, I can’t wait to see the film Captain Marvel, and how they’re going to end up fitting her into the bigger picture.

Disney’s The Lion King 2019 First Trailer Is Here

The sun rises for the next generation. The Lion King is coming.

While many of us were sitting around next to some of the people we love the most and sharing in the Thanksgiving holiday, Disney reminded us all who they are, and who they have been. In an absolutely brilliant marketing decision, Disney decided to drop the first teaser trailer for The Lion King–a remake of the 1994 classic–which is arguably their crown jewel of cinematic achievements.

Disney understood the importance of having family and friends catch their first glimpse of the euphoric masterpiece together. For me, it was an incredible moment to be sitting next to a younger cousin and share with him the importance of what we just saw. Obviously this is exactly what Disney wanted. They wanted us to look around and share stories of what this movie meant to us. Most importantly, they wanted us to then introduce this film to the younger generation, who would now be serving as the new demographic for the film.

For most people who grew up in the 90’s, The Lion King holds a special place in their heart, and they can probably tell you where they were when the sun first rose over the African Savanah, as Hans Zimmer hit us with Lebo’s iconic voice belting out the opening music in what would possibly be the greatest opening scene to any movie ever.

Sidenote: It’s important I quickly point out that I am not fan of this whole remake thing thats going on. In my mind, I believe that if you have created a masterpiece, you simply leave it. Its a 99% chance that it only goes downhill from here. However, you could also argue that some risks are worth taking, and the attempt to bring The Lion King into a new generation could be one thats worth it.

So lets just get right into it. How does this first look at the remake compare with the 1994 classic?

Well, the original Lion King had absolutely everything going for it. Disney was in the height of its powers. I’m talking Jordan in the mid to late 90’s, or like Michael Jackson in the 80s. It was a time when they were producing films like Aladdin, Beauty and The Beast, and Toy Story. The creative team at Disney during this time simply went unmatched.

Hollywood of today is simply not what it was in the 90s. Storytelling still took precedence over special effects. The good news, is that this film is just a remake, so the story is the same. Pump the breaks though, because this version features a different director and different production team.

The original film was as well cast as any I can think of. You had Jonathan Taylor Thomas (90s star) as young Simba, with Mathew Broderick playing his older self. James Earl Jones lent his voice for the iconic Mufasa. Nathan Lane (my dear, dear friend) was absolutely perfectly cast as Timon, and so too was the legendary Jeremy Irons as Scar.

So how does this compare with the new cast? Well, lets just say the point definitely goes to the original. Im sorry, but you can’t make this film without Jeremy Irons or Nathan Lane. However, there are a few instances where this remake seems to continually give me hope. For instance, James Earl Jones is back for 2019 version. In other words, Mufasa will be played by Mufasa. Also, it seems that Seth Rogen’s life destiny was to play Pumba.

So yes, there is hope.

Jon Favreau is directing the remake. He’s one of the better directors of high-budget films currently out there, yet I’m worried. Ive seen examples play out in some of his past films that give me cause for concern. I won’t get specific, but basically I’m most worried about his ability to close a film. Elf was sensational, yet fell off toward the end when for some reason they forgot it was a comedy and failed to produce a single joke in the final act of the film. Also, that final act just didn’t feel right. It was as if they made a separate movie all together. Also, Iron Man was another high budget, but well-directed film. Once again though, the film didn’t close. Iron Man‘s greatest weakness is that the end just wasn’t up to par with the rest of the film.

So why is Favreau’s struggle to properly close a film concerning for the new Lion King? It’s concerning because The Lion King features the ultimate closing act. The entire film builds up to Simba finally returning home and taking back his fallen kingdom from the evil Scar. So lets just hope that Favreau plays his cards right, because we all know the story is there. The ball is sitting there on the tee. All he needs to do is swing and make some solid contact.

Ive honestly been worried about the prospects of this film for some time. How could they ever possibly hope to duplicate the magic that was Hans Zimmer’s all time original score? How could they ever hope to replace the once in a lifetime talent of Elton John’s legendary music he too contributed for the film?

Well, they’re both returning for the 2019 version. So, The Lion King is back on!

There’s obviously a lot riding on this updated version. As I mentioned earlier, we as fans all remember what that movie meant to us and how it made us feel. The film was a perfect metaphor for the real struggles of maturity and overcoming obstacles and extreme loss. How do you deal with life when you just lost the one person who was holding your hand and showing you the path? Do you run? Maybe you find yourself in some way. Maybe new characters enter your life (Timon and Pumba) that you never expected, and in the process, show you a different way of viewing the world and becoming your own person. Simba realizes (just like in real life) that eventually your character will be determined by how you deal with the things that haunt you the most in life.

As we sat around this Thanksgiving with our family and friends–all representing different generations–we got our first look at the new version of the original film that has always perfectly represented life, past and present.

Its a film built on the notion of growing up, and staring down the challenges that adulthood inevitably offers. Just as in life, the film reminds us that you can only run from your problems for so long until you eventually have to turn around, and look them in the eye. Just as Mufasa shows his son the footprint that he is to eventually fill, we as a society are now given the task to lead that younger generation into a challenging, yet hopeful new world, not knowing for sure what the future may bring.

All we can do is enter it, or in the words of The Circle of Life, “blinking, step into the sun”.

Emergency: The Celtics are a Dumpster Fire!

The Celtics are the worst Celtics team I’ve ever seen. At this point, I’d take the Antoine Walker led team over this current group.

We have a million stars on the team, and for some reason can’t win two games in a row. We look like the mighty ducks BEFORE they found Fulton in a dark alley.

I had to write this blog so that I can fix the teams luck after I clearly destroyed everything by proclaiming that they would go undefeated after their first game of the year.

Stop shooting threes and pass the ball!! It’s called ball movement, ever heard of it?!

Jaylen Brown has NO reason to be as ineffective as he is right meow.

Brad Stevens looks awful in not being able to figure out a way to win a game with this powerhouse lineup.

Gordon Hayward is a disaster.

Kyrie Irving is sometimes great, but underachieving in general.

Jayson Tatum is a star and he always will be. I love you Jay Tay ❤️

I don’t even think I’m going to bother promoting this blog – writing this is purely therapeutic.

The Celtics were like 46-1 at this point last year with half as much talent, and were the number 1 defense in the league. Right now the Washington Generals would drop 200 on us. It’s not good. It’s just not good.

Start the bench I say! Start the bench!

The New Dumbo Trailer is Heartbreakingly Beautiful

If you didn’t cry while watching the original Dumbo, then you’re probably just another one of those undercover aliens in disguise, who is NOT to be trusted.

I just watched the first, full length trailer from Disney for the upcoming remake of the film, and it is honestly the first time I’ve ever shed a tear while watching a MOVIE TRAILER….not the film– a trailer.

The original Disney classic was as emotional as it was brilliant, and for whatever reason, I’ve felt that the upcoming remake will find a way to do it justice. I have a sixth sense for films that have yet to be released, but this blog isn’t about me, it’s about that innocent and beautiful baby elephant (jk it’s about me).

Once I looked into the cast for the film, I was hooked.

Michael Keaton…yas. Danny Devito…he’s always sensational. And I was just wondering where in the world Colin Farrell is these days….well he’s apparently been busy shredding (most likely) in Dumbo, while it looks as if Eva Green was also seemingly well cast.

However, lets all remember that a cast doesn’t mean dog shit if you don’t have a solid director/producer/screenwriter etc. So when I saw that Tim Burton was directing, I was worried. You might even say I was distraught. One could even go so far as to say I was–okay forget the lies. I honestly didn’t give the directorial choice more than a minute of thought. But now that I’m writing and clearly thinking about it, I’ll let you know how we ALL should feel:

I’ve kind of had it with his films that haven’t necessarily transitioned well from his super successful stop motion productions. He does have many hits though, and any Burton die hard would have my head for such a comment. I think we’ve all seen one too many Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaborations as of late. And when I say one too many, I mean millions too many. Yet, my highly dependable sixth sense is telling me that Burton is back, and he’s ready to give us a smash (also, Depp is nowhere to be seen). I swear to god if he makes a cameo, I’ll abruptly stand up, grab my extra large–ice free soda and smash it over the top of my head as I scream as high pitched as possible in the middle of the theater.

And for all you fools who you think you’re too macho for something as beautiful and timeless as something like this, well then you’re probably lost. The only thing that can save you at this point, is Dumbo himself. There is nothing sweeter in the entire universe than baby Dumbo. If I could give him the world, I would because he deserves it. I wish we could have ice cream together and laugh until the sun comes up. So just sit on the couch, let your guard down, and watch a heartwarming film just ONE TIME FOR ME!

Go see this film. Watch it and weep. Watch it and be inspired by true Disney magic.

P.S. The only thing that can ruin this film would be my arch nemesis Michael Giacchino composing the music. If he is, then all bets are off.  I’m not even going to check if he’s the one, because I’m currently feeling amazing about this trailer, and this film.

Pilots see UFO off Irish Coast

If you don’t whistle the theme from X-Files while reading this blog, you’re really fucking up. Okay continue…

This could potentially be huge news.

My highly educated guess would be that several alien races are likely meeting for drinks in Ireland to discuss climate change here on Earth.

Earth is a gem, that much is obvious. Most of Space is made up of completely nothing, and once you finally find a solar system that contains one or two planets that are potentially suitable for life, the likely best you’re going to get is an empty and barren Mars-like planet that maybe ONCE carried some form of microscopic bacteria. Planets that resemble the riches of Earth just don’t come around that often. That’s just space travel 101.

Therefore, protecting Earth’s ecosystem should be at the top of the agenda of many of the nearby alien races.

The main topic of debate probably has something to do with to what degree should they interfere.

There’s impressive evidence that points to them preventing early testing of the hydrogen bomb. Claims of UFO interference were made by some of the most highly respected military personnel on site at the time. Surrounding planes ordered to serve as a barricade to the testing site, all reported seeing various forms of odd moving aircraft that seemed to be defying the basic physics of flight as we know it.

Soon after, the world class testing equipment was mysteriously shut down and they were unable to detonate at that time. Even some of the scientists on site had said that it felt like for the first time, we as humans were beginning down a path that seemed highly unnatural, and that it was something we didn’t fully understand in terms of its consequences on the planet.

Aliens probably stepped in and pulled the plug at the last minute, after foreseeing all the possible outcomes of the coming test – much like one Doctor Strange.

By the way, can you really get any useful information like this from any other blogger? No. You can’t. This is simply some exclusive, alien knowledge I’m dropping all over your lives.

Well, California is on fire, the polar caps are melting, every hurricane is a category 5, and pretty soon even White Tailed Deer will be on the endangered list….so I say interfere. Interfere away!

We’re obviously a dumpster fire. I know they probably had a lot of hope for us, and maybe still do, but half of the human race doesn’t even believe in climate change so maybe it’s best if the aliens just step in.

P.S. If I hear one more basic betch say that, “oh I believe in aliens”, I’m going to scream. We’re past that right?! Yeah you’re really going out on a limb to claim that the ENDLESS universe isn’t just made up of the life here on earth. Of all the trillions of galaxies that each house billions of solar systems made up of hundreds of planets (in many cases), just ONE of them needs to be the right orbital distance from their given star to display the main requirement for life as we know it. There are billions upon billions of civilizations of every varying evolutionary point.

Run the numbers people!

It is a mathematical certainty.